Getting Ready For Hope


In my younger days, I got the opportunity to prepare for the arrival of three kids. My kids. It was an exciting time. I had no real illusions that any of them would improve my marriage. But I knew that they would each improve my life. And they each did. A lot. I got the privilege of watching them grow. Watching them become the people that they are today. And while all three have plenty of growing to do still, I am so proud of them. My youngest, Samantha, was born in January of 2007. That was eleven years ago. And here I am, getting ready for the arrival of another baby. My baby girl, Hope. And this time, the situation is much different. And I could not be happier about it.

First off, if you haven't followed my blog posts close enough, or don't know me at all, this past year I got out of an eighteen year marriage that had long since stopped meaning anything to me. It was a hard situation, and frankly a rough life. With my ex-wife, we had three kids. This time around, I am with a woman I love, and she is a fantastic mother, and a wonderful human being. And she treats me like I matter. I like that. So I am very much looking forward to raising Hope with her. Please don't misread this as me bashing my ex. I'm not. She did the best she could with the depression that she was dealt. It was just very difficult, at times, to raise our children with her. We both did our best. Whatever our best might have been.

There are few things in life as special as preparing for a new baby. And this time around, everything is different. Down to the diapers. For my other three, we always used disposable diapers. This time, I'm learning about cloth diapers. I've been watching videos with Julia, and some on my own. I don't know how well I'm going to do with it. But it's important to her, so it's important to me. She will also be breast-feeding. Something that my other three never did. So even though this is my fourth baby, it really is like I'm starting over. And I can't wait. I can't wait to see my baby girl, and hold her in my arms.

Even at this stage of my life, when so many things have happened to me, it's nice to know that I have something to really look forward to. This last year has been a crazy roller-coaster. This past month has been crazy. As I write this, today is the one month anniversary of my surgery. And yet, with that behind me, there is still much greatness before. As I learn to do things for myself again, so must my new baby girl learn new things. Her journey is going to be more work than mine, for sure. But I know that she is going to have a great life. With a mother and father that love her so very much.

Time is flying by right now. I can't believe how fast this pregnancy has gone by. We found out that we were having a baby back in December. We found out that we were having a girl back in March. And time just keeps marching by. And though there are days that seem like they drag on, and hardships that seem like they keep piling it on, soon our baby girl will be here, with us. I feel her kick inside, and it fills me with hope, happiness, and smiles. If you've never had a baby, you really don't know what you're missing. It's like all of the happiness of the world, right before you. And that happiness, though it needs the world from you, you have no problem trying to give it to them. It's an amazing feeling.

I can't say that I've always been the best father in the world. But I've tried my hardest. And, I think, that my kiddos love me. I think that I've given them many great memories of their childhood. At least, I sincerely hope I did. And now, I get that chance again. Another chance to give my child a great life. I'll do my best. Julia will do her best. And in the end, I think that when Hope has grown, she'll be able to look back and know that her parents tried their hardest, and that they both love her very much.

And as the preparation for her birth keeps coming along, and we get more of what she needs, I'm getting more of what I need. I'm getting the love that I always needed. I'm getting the life that I always wanted. And I'm getting the larger family that I always wanted. And I couldn't think of a better time to be alive than now.

Thank you all once again, for reading my long, rambling post. Bless you,
Rob

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