Today Is A Good Day


Today is a good day. I guess you would know that if you read the title. I can't say exactly why it's a good day, I'm just feeling good. And why not? I have so many amazing things up ahead, to look forward to. There is a lifetime of happiness ahead of me. I just have to grab it. And you can believe me that I'm going to grab it. This new Rob, the one that was born from the ashes of a failed marriage, is here to stay. The happy one, that isn't hiding tears, and sorrow inside. the one that can look over at his sleeping girlfriend, and know that everything is going to be okay.

And the huge blessing of Hope. I felt her kick last night, and a couple other times, but last night she really kicked hard. It bumped my hand. I had this moment of, "Oh my God, that's my little girl in there!" That's a beautiful thought. My baby girl is so busy these days, especially when Julia is laying down. It's such an incredible thing to feel, and experience. If it weren't for the actual childbirth itself, I would be jealous that Julia gets to experience such a miracle of nature the way that she does.

I took the pain blocker off this morning, and so far I haven't had any major pain. There have been some pins and needles, and occasional a deep sense of my leg being tired. But so far, that is it. I'm not crazy enough to think that there will be no immense pain, but I'm ready for it. I'm going to face it head on, and pay it no attention. I'm more than any pain that I may, or may not feel. It's all part of growing from this experience. It's all part of learning to live with less of me.

So far, I have had only one bad moment during this. It was in the hospital. It was a dreary, snowy day, and I was sitting in front of the window when I broke down. A few minutes later, Julia walked in, and completely lifted me up. It was a great moment. It was the moment that I knew everything was going to be okay. With her by my side, smiling at me, and holding me, I knew I was going to be okay.

I've decided that I'm going to be writing a book about this journey that I am on here. In addition to being a new below the knee amputee, I of course will be having a baby girl at the age of 39. And I will be giving her the same attention, and love that I gave my other three kids. Okay, maybe more. I will walk with her, I will teach her. I will be giving her rides on my shoulders. All of the things that a good dad would do for his baby girl. And I will teach her that we are not our limitations. Our handicaps do not definite who we are. Our ability to love one another, and treat others with respect and kindness are what defines us. So I will teach my baby girl to love, and never judge or hate. We will have all of those precious father/daughter moments that every child deserves. That's what's right. That is what I'm working for. No matter how hard my recovery is, I'll be thinking of that little girl. The one that already has her daddy's heart.

That's all I have to say for now. But, I want to thank you all for reading what I had to write here. Time is a very precious thing. I find that I can get my emotions out through words. And you have all been so kind to read my words. I hope that you all have a very blessed day.

-Rob

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Feeling Lazy

Image
I don't do much around here these days. The past couple of weeks, as infection burned through my foot, and killed the bones, I was limited in my mobility. First because I was hoping that my foot might heal, and second because the pain was getting increasingly worse with every passing day. I was in agony. As you can imagine, infection in your foot, and in the bones of your foot don't exactly tickle. So as a result, I've done very little around the house. And as a result, I feel fairly useless around here. When we first moved into this house, back in July, I was also experiencing limited mobility, thanks to a surgery that I had just had done to remove a bone in my foot. The same foot that is no longer there! But, even though I was limited in what I could do, I still did as much as I could to help out. I was able to help cook, clean a little, and at least be a somewhat productive member of this household. This time around, I am missing my right foot. I have a lot of troub
Read more

One Foot Down

Image
On Wednesday, April 11th of 2018, sometime around 8:30 AM, I went into surgery, and came out with one less foot. I hear that the surgery went great, and as I sit here Monday night, it still seems like the surgery went well. Unfortunately, I still have only one foot now. The events leading up to this happened so quickly, that it was hard for me to really take the time to think much about it. Things were that bad in my foot. The infection was that bad. And luckily for me, the pain was that bad (yes, that was sarcasm). And so when I went in for my podiatrist appointment on Monday the 9th, I was told that I would soon become an amputee. I was filled with emotions. I wanted to cry. But I didn't. Well, I mean, I did eventually. It’s such a weird thought to know that my foot is gone. To look down to where it used to be, and see just empty space. And if I’m being honest, it’s pretty scary. When I look down there, I’m filled with the sense of wondering how the future is going to work.
Read more