The First Post


Hello folks, my name is Rob. And this is yet another blog from me. I have a couple blogs out there. One is just for music review. One is for whatever I feel like posting. This one is for my journey as a "new / old" dad. My girlfriend and I found out in December that we were going to have a baby. We each have three kids from a previous marriage. So I'm going to be a new dad, but I'm still dad to the other kiddos. So I guess that's why I came up with this name.

Not everything on here will be 100% about the baby. But it will all talk about where my life is going. Like today. Today I am having an MRI on my right foot. The prognosis from my podiatrist appointment on Monday was not good. Not at all. So, to be honest, I am scared. No matter what happens, though, I will be there for my family, and the daughter that will arrive in August.

To be honest, I just broke down at my desk. It's scary. Knowing that there isn't much of a chance that my life will move on as it has. With all of my limbs. There is a best case scenario, that included daily IV injections. But I feel the way that my foot feels. I feel the pain. I feel the discomfort.

There is an infection in the bone of the small toe of my right foot. The podiatrist said that it was bad. The MRI is to determine if it's spread far. So today I am going to go in, and find out if I'm going to lose just part of my foot, or if I'm going to lose the entire thing. That's a scary thought. But it's one that I have to come to terms with.

I imagine that there is going to be some hospital time. And this comes at a very bad time. My girlfriend is very pregnant. Just about 22 weeks at this point. We have a house full of kids. And if (when?) I get admitted, I'm leaving her to deal with everything. That is so unfair of me. She's a strong woman. I know that she can handle it. But I feel terrible. I don't know how long I might be gone for this, but I feel terrible.

As far as me... I'll be fine. Whatever happens, I will adapt. People have lived their lives without limbs. I will just have to learn how to live mine like that. How to raise a baby, as a man in his very late 30's, with only one leg. I can do it. I will do it. But that is scary.

In the coming days, weeks, months, and years, I will detail my story. I will talk about the difficulties of losing a limb (if it comes down to that). I will talk about the difficulties of learning to live again, without a part of my self. And I will talk about the amazing feeling of knowing that I have a baby girl on the way.

But for today... there is only worry. So I will stop talking now. I have so much to say, but at the moment, my heart isn't in it. I'm scared. Please pray for me. I can do this, but a little "divine intervention" couldn't hurt.

-Rob

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