The Story of Rob Mallory

It's been five months to the day since I lost my right foot. I lost it, not to a car accident, or a work mishap, but because I'm fat, and lazy. Don't try and talk me out of that, it's just the facts. I am fat, and lazy, have been my entire life. As a result, I gave myself diabetes. And because I was in a marriage that I would have rather died, than spend the next fifty years in, I ignored the diabetes, and lost my foot. Now, I can't put all of the blame of losing my foot, on myself. The podiatrist that treated me as if I was nothing more than a quick distraction before heading to a more important patient gets plenty of that blame. But, this is me. I am a right below knee amputee. That is still a tough pill for me to swallow. I go through most days with my head held high. And while inside there are times I feel like I am dying, my outward appearance gets me through the day. But today, I don't know how well I am doing. Everything makes me cry. My emotions are

I feel like I'm such a failure. I struggle through each day, knowing how many people I let down on a constant basis. I cry so often that I wonder how many tears I have left in me. I hurt inside. I want to be a better, with more money. In the end, that's all that matters. That's the only way to measure a person's true worth in life. And looking at my bank account, I am truly worthless. I am so sick of feeling this way. I want to be more. Even if it means that I need to work my life away, more money is the only way that I will ever be worthy of anyone's love. I just don't know what to do. I can't help but wonder how many people would be better off if I were gone. How many lives do I need to ruin. There are certain things that I have officially given up on. I won't go into them here, because it really doesn't matter. I think that some things that were said were never true. I know that's cryptic, but I just will not say more. I'm not worthy of